Struggling to Stick to Habits? Understand Why, and Change For Good!

By February, many of us have already lost momentum with the goals we set ourselves in January. If you find yourself asking, “Why haven’t I stuck to my habits?”, don’t worry. You’re not alone—and there’s a psychological reason for it.

Understanding why habits are so hard to build and how our brains respond to change can be the key to making lasting progress. Here’s why you may be struggling—and how to turn things around with proven psychological strategies.

1. You’re Trying to Change Too Much Too Fast (The Power of Starting Small)

The “all-or-nothing” mentality is common when starting new habits. Many people dive into a drastic lifestyle change, hoping for quick results. However, this approach often leads to overwhelm and burnout.

The concept of cognitive overload suggests that our brains can only handle so much at once. When we try to make multiple big changes simultaneously, our decision-making capacity becomes overwhelmed, and we often quit before the changes take hold.

When you introduce small changes gradually, your brain has time to adapt, making it more likely that you’ll stick with them in the long run.

2. You Haven’t Made It a Priority (Understanding the Role of Motivation and Prioritization)

Life gets busy. Between work, social obligations, and daily stressors, it’s easy for new habits to fall to the bottom of the to-do list.

The Ego Depletion Theory suggests that willpower is finite. By the end of a long day, your mental resources are drained, and prioritizing your new habit may feel like an extra burden. Additionally, we tend to value immediate rewards over long-term benefits, which can make sticking to something that doesn’t give instant gratification harder.

Planning in advance and specifying the “when” and “where” of your habits makes you 2-3 times more likely to succeed. Treat your habit as a non-negotiable part of your day—no excuses!

3. You’re Too Hard on Yourself (The Role of Self-Compassion)

Perfectionism is a major hurdle for many people trying to build new habits. One slip-up can lead to negative self-talk and the feeling that you’ve “ruined” your progress.

Being kind to yourself after a mistake actually helps you bounce back quicker. People who practice self-compassion are more likely to persevere when they face challenges because they don’t view setbacks as failures—they see them as part of the learning process.

Instead of beating yourself up over mistakes, recognize them as opportunities to learn and adjust your approach. This mindset shift can drastically increase your chances of success.

4. You Don’t Have Accountability (The Power of Social Support)

Building habits alone can be lonely and discouraging. Without accountability, it’s easy to give up.

Social support is crucial for success. Studies show that having a buddy to share your goals with can increase your chances of success by up to 65%. This is because of the social reinforcement principle—knowing that someone else is invested in your success creates a sense of obligation and motivation.

Enlist a friend, partner, or join a community that shares your goals. Whether it’s a workout buddy or an online support group, having a social connection significantly boosts your chances of sticking to a new habit. The more positive reinforcement you receive, the more motivated you’ll be to continue.

5. Your Habits Aren’t Aligned with Your Values (The Psychology of Motivation)

If the habit you’re trying to form doesn’t align with your deeper values, it will feel like a chore rather than a meaningful change.

According to Self-Determination Theory, intrinsic motivation (doing something because it aligns with your values) is far more powerful than extrinsic motivation (doing something for external rewards). When your actions resonate with your sense of purpose, they feel more rewarding and are easier to sustain.

Reflect on your deeper motivations. Why do you want to adopt this new habit? Is it aligned with your values, such as health, personal growth, or creativity? When your habit is connected to your intrinsic motivation, you’ll find it easier to stay committed and feel more fulfilled along the way.

6. You Haven’t Made It Enjoyable (The Role of Dopamine and Reward)

Habits that don’t feel enjoyable can be difficult to stick with. Without positive reinforcement, the brain has little incentive to continue.

Psychological Insight: Dopamine, the brain’s “feel-good” neurotransmitter, plays a significant role in habit formation. When you experience pleasure or reward from an action, dopamine is released, reinforcing the behavior. If a habit is unpleasant or painful, it won’t activate the brain’s reward system, making it much harder to stick with.

The Solution: Find ways to make your habit enjoyable. Make it social, gamify it, or find creative ways to link it to positive feelings. For example, if you’re trying to exercise, choose an activity that you enjoy (like dancing or hiking) rather than forcing yourself to run. The more pleasure and reward you associate with the habit, the more likely you’ll continue.

How to Stick to Your Habits in February (and Beyond)

1. Start small and build gradually – Avoid cognitive overload by making incremental changes, focusing on one habit at a time.
2. Schedule your habit – Treat it as a non-negotiable part of your day to reduce decision fatigue.
3. Practice self-compassion – Mistakes are part of the journey, not a reason to quit.
4. Seek accountability – Share your goals with someone who can help keep you on track.
5. Align your habits with your values – Choose habits that resonate with your core beliefs.
6. Make it enjoyable – Ensure your habit activates positive emotions and rewards.

By understanding the psychology behind habit formation, you can set yourself up for success in building lasting change. February is a fresh start—don’t give up on your goals. Apply these science-backed strategies, and you’ll be much more likely to stick with your new habits long term.

Got any habits you’re working on? Share your experience or let me know how I can help you along the way!